diff --git a/html/common.tsx b/html/common.tsx
index 6bcb36b..44ed045 100644
--- a/html/common.tsx
+++ b/html/common.tsx
@@ -137,3 +137,5 @@ export function shuffle<T>(array: T[]): T[] {
 export function n_of<T>(n: number, x: T): T[] {
     return new Array(n).fill(x);
 }
+
+export const static_url = (res: string) => `https://static.pyrope.net/${res}`;
diff --git a/html/hs-mortality.tsx b/html/hs-mortality.tsx
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ded2f32
--- /dev/null
+++ b/html/hs-mortality.tsx
@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+// https://mspaintadventures.fandom.com/wiki/Mortality
+// bobbing would be great...
+// ^ requires a bit too much artistry to fill in the gaps i fear
+// ^ or just. clone stamp that could work
+// ^ it did, yay! :D
+// bit of code i used on this page that i felt proud of:
+// https://homestuck.net/img/resources/assets/uncategorized-assets/
+// document.querySelectorAll("a").forEach(a => {
+//  const img = document.createElement("img");
+//  img.src = a.href;
+//  a.insertAdjacentElement("afterend", img);
+// })
+
+import { render_and_copy, static_url } from "./common.tsx";
+
+render_and_copy(
+    <img
+        src={static_url("homestuck-3853-transparent.png")}
+        alt="TODO TODO TODO TODO TODO TODO TODO TODO TODO TODO"
+        style={{
+            background:
+                // TODO: don't hotlink, actually find the right thing
+                // this might be good enough tm
+                "url(https://homestuck.net/img/resources/assets/incipisphere-assets/35%20-%20eCjrT.png) fixed;",
+        }}
+    />
+);
diff --git a/static/homestuck-3853-egbertful.png b/static/homestuck-3853-egbertful.png
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index 0000000..e0c8d34
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diff --git a/static/homestuck-3853-transparent-egbertless.png b/static/homestuck-3853-transparent-egbertless.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..578e9de
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diff --git a/static/homestuck-3853-transparent.png b/static/homestuck-3853-transparent.png
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index 0000000..ab8c202
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