diff --git a/html/random-character.tsx b/html/random-character.tsx
index 3ba4c0d..7c03784 100644
--- a/html/random-character.tsx
+++ b/html/random-character.tsx
@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@ const FIRST_NAMES = [
     "levi",
     "dago",
     "they",
-    "smut",
+    "cool",
     "filt",
     "cump",
     "upgo",
@@ -111,6 +111,7 @@ const FIRST_NAMES = [
     "wych",
     "poet",
     "meh",
+    "egg",
 ].map(name => name[0].toUpperCase() + name.slice(1));
 
 const LAST_NAMES = [
@@ -215,22 +216,22 @@ const LAST_NAMES = [
     "shohjis",
     "shilloo",
     "bark",
+    "bug",
 ].map(name => name[0].toUpperCase() + name.slice(1));
 
-// sweet we can just img src=
-const ASPECT_URLS = [
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/6/60/Space_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/f/f4/Time_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/1/11/Mind_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/a/ac/Heart_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/3/35/Hope_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/c/c3/Rage_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/a/a0/Breath_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/1/13/Blood_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/3/3e/Life_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/1/1c/Doom_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/6/68/Light_Aspect.svg",
-    "https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/1/13/Void_Aspect.svg",
+const ASPECTS = [
+    "Space",
+    "Time",
+    "Mind",
+    "Heart",
+    "Hope",
+    "Rage",
+    "Breath",
+    "Blood",
+    "Life",
+    "Doom",
+    "Light",
+    "Void",
 ];
 
 // oh heck yeah we can totally layer clothes and stuff
@@ -387,6 +388,126 @@ const LIKED_ACTIVITIES = [
     "doing enough",
 ].map(s => s.toUpperCase());
 
+const HEADWEAR = [
+    ...new Array(20).fill("nothing on top of your head"),
+    "a dorky top hat",
+    "a spiffy top hat",
+    "a baseball cap",
+    "a baseball helmet",
+    "a football helmet",
+    "a puppet on top of your head",
+    "a smaller version of yourself on top of your head",
+    "a headband with attached horns",
+    "a headband",
+    "a veil",
+    "a fedora",
+    "a comically small top hat",
+    "a comically large top hat",
+];
+
+const FACEWEAR = [
+    ...new Array(20).fill("nothing on your face"),
+    "some sick shades",
+    "some frankly lame shades",
+    "heart-shaped shades",
+    "circular shades",
+    "circular glasses",
+    "square glasses",
+    "glasses that you would consider standard",
+    "grey facepaint",
+    "clown facepaint",
+    "juggalo facepaint",
+    "a clown nose",
+    "Vriska's glasses (they aren't yours)",
+    "Dave's shades (they aren't yours)",
+];
+
+const TOP = [
+    "a tank top",
+    "a collared shirt",
+    "a polo shirt",
+    "a generic t-shirt",
+    "a non-generic t-shirt",
+    "a red t-shirt",
+    "a orange t-shirt",
+    "a yellow t-shirt",
+    "a green t-shirt",
+    "a blue t-shirt",
+    "a indigo t-shirt",
+    "a violet t-shirt",
+    "a teal t-shirt",
+    "a Terezi t-shirt (what!!)",
+    "a white shirt",
+    "a pair of pants as a shirt",
+    "a grey t-shirt",
+    "a gray t-shirt",
+    "a brown t-shirt",
+    "a scratchy sweater",
+    "an incredibly comfortable sweater",
+    "a sweater",
+    "a jacket",
+    "a coat",
+    "an appropriately-heavy coat",
+    "an inappropriately-heavy coat",
+    "a cargo shirt",
+    "a cargo shirt that you added more pockets to",
+];
+
+const BOTTOM = [
+    "pants",
+    "shorts",
+    "a skirt",
+    "cargo pants",
+    "cargo shorts",
+    "a cargo skirt",
+    "cargo pants that you added more pockets to",
+    "cargo shorts that you added more pockets to",
+    "a cargo skirt that you added more pockets to",
+    "dress pants",
+    "dress shorts",
+    "a dress skirt",
+    "a collared shirt",
+    "a polo shirt",
+    "a generic skirt",
+    "a non-generic skirt",
+    "a red skirt",
+    "a orange skirt",
+    "a yellow skirt",
+    "a green skirt",
+    "a blue skirt",
+    "a indigo skirt",
+    "a violet skirt",
+    "a teal skirt",
+    "a Terezi skirt (what!!)",
+    "a white shirt",
+    "a pair of pants as a skirt",
+    "a grey skirt",
+    "a gray skirt",
+    "a brown skirt",
+    "sweat pants",
+    "sweat shorts",
+    "Terezi pants (what!!)",
+];
+
+const FOOTWEAR = [
+    "shoes",
+    "boots",
+    "cargo boots",
+    "cargo boots that you added more pockets to",
+    "sandals",
+    "sneakers",
+    "crocs",
+    "red shoes",
+    "orange shoes",
+    "yellow shoes",
+    "green shoes",
+    "blue shoes",
+    "indigo shoes",
+    "violet shoes",
+    "Terezi shoes (what!!)",
+    "sandals with socks",
+];
+
 // has some defaults
 export const Prngnoun = ({
     prns,
@@ -425,6 +546,7 @@ render_and_copy(
             backgroundColor: "#EFEFEF",
             textAlign: "center",
             margin: "0 auto",
+            padding: "0.5rem 1rem",
         }}
     >
         <p>
@@ -446,15 +568,37 @@ render_and_copy(
             , and <Prngnoun alt="a random activity" prns={LIKED_ACTIVITIES} />.
         </p>
         <p>
-            You are a <Prngnoun alt="a class from homestuck" prns={CLASSES} />{" "}
-            of{" "}
-            <img
-                style={{ height: "2rem", display: "inline", margin: "0" }}
-                src={serverside_randirect(...ASPECT_URLS)}
-                alt="the symbol of an aspect from homestuck"
+            You feel a bit too shy to actually{" "}
+            <a
+                style={{ fontWeight: "bold" }}
+                href={serverside_randirect(
+                    "http://www.farragofiction.com/DollSim/",
+                    "http://www.farragofiction.com/DollSim/index.html?type=2"
+                )}
+            >
+                show yourself
+            </a>{" "}
+            in this post, but you are wearing{" "}
+            <Prngnoun
+                alt="a piece of headwear, or lack thereof"
+                prns={HEADWEAR}
             />
-            , but you don't really care about that&mdash;it's hard to god-tier
-            when you are a randomly-filled out template!
+            ,{" "}
+            <Prngnoun
+                alt="a piece of facewear, or lack thereof"
+                prns={FACEWEAR}
+            />
+            , <Prngnoun alt="a top (clothing)" prns={TOP} />
+            , <Prngnoun alt="a bottom (clothing)" prns={BOTTOM} />, and{" "}
+            <Prngnoun alt="footwear" prns={FOOTWEAR} />.
+            {/* you are wearing nothing on your head, some sick shades, a tank top, boots, and cargo pants */}
+            {/* your expression changes {often,rarely,of course}, but it's typical for you to be {smiling,grinning,grimacing} */}
+        </p>
+        <p>
+            You are a <Prngnoun alt="a class from homestuck" prns={CLASSES} />{" "}
+            of <Prngnoun alt="an aspect from homestuck" prns={ASPECTS} />, but
+            you don't really care about that&mdash;it's hard to god-tier when
+            you are a randomly-filled out template!
         </p>
     </Main>
 );