diff --git a/html/common.tsx b/html/common.tsx
index 3fea4fd..17f28e1 100644
--- a/html/common.tsx
+++ b/html/common.tsx
@@ -431,7 +431,6 @@ export const string_split_once = (
     return [str.slice(0, idx), str.slice(idx + on.length)];
 };
 
-// TODO: not stringly-typed style
 export const HomestuckSpan = ({
     children,
     color,
diff --git a/html/random-character.tsx b/html/random-character.tsx
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..565e548
--- /dev/null
+++ b/html/random-character.tsx
@@ -0,0 +1,259 @@
+import { JSX } from "preact/jsx-runtime";
+import { render_and_copy } from "./common.tsx";
+
+// let's do 100 first and last names OKAY
+//
+// cat ~/Documents/dictionary.txt | grep -e '^.\{6,7\}$' | shuf | head -n 100
+// okay let's be a bit more selective yikes
+// cat ~/Documents/dictionary.txt | grep -E '^....$'              | shuf | head -n 100 | awk 'BEGIN {print("[")} {print("    \"" $1 "\",")} END {print("]")}' | xsel -ib
+// cat ~/Documents/dictionary.txt | grep -E '^[^n][^i][^g]....?$' | shuf | head -n 100 | awk 'BEGIN {print("[")} {print("    \"" $1 "\",")} END {print("]")}' | xsel -ib
+// that is a COMPREHENSIVE dictionary D:
+
+const FIRST_NAMES = [
+    "tree",
+    "saka",
+    "pass",
+    "kexy",
+    "pici",
+    "kurd",
+    "xxii",
+    "lide",
+    "huke",
+    "palm",
+    "levi",
+    "dago",
+    "they",
+    "smut",
+    "filt",
+    "cump",
+    "upgo",
+    "zoid",
+    "army",
+    "anta",
+    "arbs",
+    "ferv",
+    "stan",
+    "wabe",
+    "jami",
+    "purs",
+    "deys",
+    "vamp",
+    "mese",
+    "migs",
+    "pile",
+    "susu",
+    "olio",
+    "ipse",
+    "gelt",
+    "idem",
+    "eden",
+    "pont",
+    "vica",
+    "corv",
+    "kell",
+    "elul",
+    "ecod",
+    "maid",
+    "kays",
+    "fine",
+    "taws",
+    "coul",
+    "shag",
+    "aren",
+    "ruse",
+    "anre",
+    "spex",
+    "perp",
+    "koff",
+    "west",
+    "sild",
+    "vina",
+    "itch",
+    "neal",
+    "jhow",
+    "cozy",
+    "moun",
+    "copy",
+    "fict",
+    "gulp",
+    "slon",
+    "tuny",
+    "tolt",
+    "erns",
+    "eyas",
+    "thro",
+    "reno",
+    "warm",
+    "lone",
+    "erst",
+    "koel",
+    "vila",
+    "rump",
+    "kmet",
+    "drow",
+    "polt",
+    "orts",
+    "hlqn",
+    "adib",
+    "dabb",
+    "dhak",
+    "tyke",
+    "arni",
+    "bagh",
+    "holt",
+    "wart",
+    "bull",
+    "mayo",
+    "tiam",
+    "dose",
+    "dogs",
+    "dine",
+    "wych",
+    "poet",
+    "meh",
+].map(name => name[0].toUpperCase() + name.slice(1));
+
+const LAST_NAMES = [
+    "paragon",
+    "phossy",
+    "burghal",
+    "templum",
+    "osteome",
+    "deicide",
+    "lockrum",
+    "inhale",
+    "celoms",
+    "outsit",
+    "plaints",
+    "stubby",
+    "flabrum",
+    "elcaja",
+    "thrang",
+    "caretta",
+    "retune",
+    "unplace",
+    "adlumin",
+    "garcon",
+    "brainy",
+    "slyest",
+    "tsktsks",
+    "bodock",
+    "crummer",
+    "actions",
+    "wrapped",
+    "emeril",
+    "traneen",
+    "wrought",
+    "detinue",
+    "ascarid",
+    "swimbel",
+    "leaped",
+    "ericoid",
+    "solano",
+    "barware",
+    "infarce",
+    "bullets",
+    "frankly",
+    "euboean",
+    "jymold",
+    "besugo",
+    "smaragd",
+    "suiting",
+    "muconic",
+    "goujay",
+    "caynard",
+    "pupped",
+    "verdict",
+    "brangle",
+    "potions",
+    "touart",
+    "fraena",
+    "peising",
+    "replial",
+    "unbaste",
+    "sandbug",
+    "roosed",
+    "refind",
+    "illipe",
+    "runner",
+    "implate",
+    "atoxyl",
+    "favous",
+    "opcode",
+    "fuegian",
+    "cadging",
+    "soapbox",
+    "fessed",
+    "deworm",
+    "browzer",
+    "uncurl",
+    "toelike",
+    "posnet",
+    "mortem",
+    "whippa",
+    "invests",
+    "aphagia",
+    "attent",
+    "esopgi",
+    "resorb",
+    "succula",
+    "levulic",
+    "enlace",
+    "busbars",
+    "rocket",
+    "sexuous",
+    "provers",
+    "condole",
+    "caveman",
+    "cattily",
+    "buddie",
+    "trikaya",
+    "ladlers",
+    "gorbet",
+    "tarkani",
+    "acquit",
+    "shohjis",
+    "shilloo",
+    "bark",
+].map(name => name[0].toUpperCase() + name.slice(1));
+
+// has some defaults
+export const Prngnoun = ({
+    prns,
+    style = {},
+}: {
+    prns: string[];
+    style?: JSX.CSSProperties;
+}) => (
+    <img
+        src={`https://pyrope.net/prngnouns?p=${prns.join("&p=")}`}
+        style={{
+            display: "inline",
+            height: "0.9rem",
+            ...style,
+        }}
+    />
+);
+
+// what is gained from having this on cohost... hm
+// export const InlineRandImage
+// because the randomly generated parts are so nicely integrated (if you have courier)
+// i'm thinking i'll frame it like "your guy is ..." instead of "you are ..."
+// idk
+
+render_and_copy(
+    <p
+        style={{
+            lineHeight: "1rem",
+            fontFamily: "courier-std, courier, monospace",
+            fontWeight: "bold",
+        }}
+    >
+        Your name is <Prngnoun prns={FIRST_NAMES} />{" "}
+        <Prngnoun prns={LAST_NAMES} />. You are{" "}
+        <Prngnoun
+            prns={Array.from({ length: 200 }).map((_, i) => i.toString())}
+        />{" "}
+        years old. Cool!
+    </p>
+);
diff --git a/serverside/prngnouns.ts b/serverside/prngnouns.ts
index 57a6c93..66bc828 100644
--- a/serverside/prngnouns.ts
+++ b/serverside/prngnouns.ts
@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ async function get_pronoun_image(prn: string): Promise<Uint8Array> {
 const MAX_PRN_LENGTH = 32;
 const MAX_PRN_CACHE = 64;
 // shouldn't really be a problem
-const MAX_PRN_CHOICES = 128;
+const MAX_PRN_CHOICES = 256;
 
 function clean_up() {
   if (images.size <= MAX_PRN_CACHE) {
diff --git a/serverside/this-image-has-been-fetched-approximately-n-times.ts b/serverside/this-image-has-been-fetched-approximately-n-times.ts
index a2dfa12..ccfd5f3 100644
--- a/serverside/this-image-has-been-fetched-approximately-n-times.ts
+++ b/serverside/this-image-has-been-fetched-approximately-n-times.ts
@@ -153,7 +153,8 @@ const secret_messages = [
   "it would be cool if floppies were actually reliable",
   "epic win! this message has a 1% chance of appearing! share with your friends",
   "you should try curling terezi.pyrope.net",
-  "caltrop.dev has a ton of cool stuff; the caltrop.dev/meta/map helps",
+  "Stubborn tiny lights vs. clustering darkness forever ok?",
+  // "caltrop.dev has a ton of cool stuff; the caltrop.dev/meta/map helps",
   "i used a typescript type error to track my progress to one hundred messages",
   "haskell...",
   "lean4...",