fetched: ONE HUNDRED SECRET MESSAGES

this-image-has-been-fetched-approximately-n-times.ts

@@ -33,7 +33,8 @@ ctx.font = "bold 20px serif";
 
 ctx.fillText("This image has been fetched about", 10, 130);
 
-const funny_numbers = [69, 413, 420, 612, 666, 6969, 8008, 55555, 8008135];
+const funny_numbers = [69, 413, 420, 612, 6969, 8008, 8008135];
+const scary_numbers = [666, 55555];
 
 function draw_times(times: number) {
   clear_rect(5, 150, 403, 125);
@@ -42,12 +43,17 @@ function draw_times(times: number) {
 
   ctx.font = "bold 64px serif";
   ctx.fillStyle = "#FFAB5C";
-  ctx.fillText(`${times}`, 206.5 - (64 * (num_digits + 1)) / 4, 216.5);
+  ctx.fillText(
+    `${times}`,
+    206.5 - (num_digits + 1) * 64 / 4,
+    216.5,
+  );
   ctx.fillStyle = default_fill;
 
   ctx.font = "bold 20px serif";
   const times_bang = "times" + "!".repeat(num_digits - 1) +
-    (funny_numbers.includes(times) ? " (lol)" : "");
+    (funny_numbers.includes(times) ? " (lol)" : "") +
+    (scary_numbers.includes(times) ? "(uh oh)" : "");
   ctx.fillText(times_bang, 206.5 - (20 * (times_bang.length + 2)) / 4, 270);
 }
 
@@ -76,7 +82,7 @@ const secret_messages = [
   "guess what band i'm listening to while writing this (there's literally no way for you to know)",
   "how many of these secret messages have you seen before?",
   "have you seen ME (the secret message) before???",
-  "there is a very small chance that the text above can say serket",
+  "there is a very small chance for the text above to say serket",
   "there is an extremely small chance that the text above says serket RIGHT NOW",
   "oh crap. this is only #27. why did i say i would make one hundred",
   "i'm borrowing david mccullough's 1776 right now; it's really good so far",
@@ -91,8 +97,72 @@ const secret_messages = [
   "okay, it's 10:15; i'm going to take a break and make this actually work",
   "hooray, it's on pyrope.net/fetched.png now!",
   `the "This post hasn't been deleted" post has the highest reach to effort ratio of any of my posts by far. it's pretty slick, don't get me wrong, but it was mainly just copying from cohost's css bla bla`,
+  "okay this is number 40 so i only have... oh boy",
+  "what is your favorite letter of your favorite alphabet?",
+  "internet was out for a bit, so i pulled up my youtube favorites from feb 2022, and apparently i had downloaded 42 HOURS of video",
+  'if you like discord servers created so that i could continue saying "man, computers are incredible" every day you should visit pyrope.net/mcai (ask me "approximately")',
+  "how do you feel about randall munroe?",
+  "can you screencap every message!?!?1",
+  "am i a choster yet?",
+  "is it a bad idea to have the majority of these random messages be inevitably lower quality?",
+  "there are some numbers that will get a (lol) after times, they are extremely rare though",
+  "you should read there is no antimemetics division by qntm",
+  "you should read valuable humans in transit and other stories by qntm",
+  "deno is great",
+  "deno emit seems sweet, but i couldn't find a simple cli (yes, any arbitrary script can become a single command easily because deno is awesome but)",
+  "godot is great; i actually make stuff instead of futzing with things that don't matter",
+  "go to pyrope.net/uhc",
+  "JSX is so conceptually perfect that it has totally ruined other html templating for me",
+  "drink water or something",
+  "FLKDHK: if you're reading this, go to pyrope.net/fetched.png and refresh until you see a message that starts with FLKDHK",
+  "have you seen this post? cohost.org/mehbark/post/2902858-this-post",
+  "you should go find the code together https://cohost.org/mehbark/post/2576955-find-the-code-togeth",
+  "you should play pyrope.net/ew it's genuinely fun",
+  "odds are you are just a computer program... actually the odds are 100% really because browser etc etc",
+  "is the number goku yet? will the number ever be goku? dm me on discord @mehbark if it is",
+  "irc.pyrope.net",
+  "thanks to the stackoverflow answer for the text wrapping; the text literally just got narrower to fit before",
+  "i don't use rust nearly as much as i used to, but i still like it a lot, and it might be the language i know best in many ways",
+  "shout out to purelymail! i've been using them for over a year and they're great (for terezi@pyrope.net of course)",
+  "i listened to in rainbows because r/topster said it was overrated or whatever, and now i think i just like radiohead",
+  "i like that cohost has official colors; it makes it easy to choose stuff that looks nice",
+  "eggbug is extremely valuable as a cultural touchstone for cohost, an otherwise fractured website, in this ess",
+  "i like rouge likes",
+  "played titanfall 2 multiplayer the other day (no northstar), and it just worked; i can't believe how back we are",
+  "i like 15 step",
+  'maybe "secret message" is overselling it',
+  "homestuck",
+  "i like all homestuck characters",
+  "what is your classpect?",
+  "what is your land?",
+  "how have you allocated your strife specibus?",
+  "abscond",
+  "i wonder how caching will affect this; i don't *think* i have any caching serverside",
+  "i am getting so close to one hundred now",
+  "on september 21, 2023, i belted a yoshi plushie to my knee",
+  "i have a $20 dollar digital casio watch from walmart; it is genuinely so perfect for me",
+  "it's 14:00 and i have only eaten one biscuit today",
+  "i like uhhhh dependent types",
+  "i found this at the bottom of the barrel",
+  "spogebob",
+  "it would be cool if floppies were actually reliable",
+  "epic win! this message has a 1% chance of appearing! share with your friends",
+  "you should try curling terezi.pyrope.net",
+  "caltrop.dev has a ton of cool stuff; the caltrop.dev/meta/map helps",
+  "i used a typescript type error to track my progress to one hundred messages",
+  "haskell...",
+  "lean4...",
+  "the amount of effort making all of these secret messages took was NOT worth the value added lol",
+  "because i did things in a weird way, if i don't clear some pixels they remain there until the program restarts",
+  "oh yeah i'm using deno.land/x/canvas and pretty happy with it; i used deno.land/x/skia_canvas, which is more fully-featured, before but there were some obnoxious glibc issues on my vps",
+  "why is it always the last few that take the longest",
+  "most of these are crappy secret messages. sorry",
+  "YOU FOUND MESSAGE #100 LET'S GOOOOOO",
 ] as const;
 
+type completed = typeof secret_messages.length;
+const _done: completed = 100;
+
 // thank you, https://stackoverflow.com/questions/5026961/html5-canvas-ctx-filltext-wont-do-line-breaks
 function printAtWordWrap(
   context: CanvasRenderingContext2D,